Aaj phir jeenay ki tamanna hai… (we will never live it again…)

Waheeda Rehman in the song, Aaj phir jeenay ki tamanna hai
Waheeda Rehman in the song, Aaj phir jeenay ki tamanna hai
With the hand fading away in a distant view through the window and a jerk she comes back to the life around. The bus has stopped. All passengers get off the bus to have a cup of tea at a sub-terminal. She sits down to people watch in the garden of the restaurant. There is a small cafeteria too. The recorder there plays a famous hindi song in the most beautiful female voice:
Aaj phir jeenay ki tamanna hai, Aaj phir marnay ka iraada hai
Years back when she listened to this song it did not bring her any significant thought. But today it catches her attention as she realizes how intensified desire is hidden in it for a passion to live out of one’s own will and choice; to awaken in one’s self a ‘vibrational being’. The feelings in the melodious song remind her a statement by Adlai Stevenson, “It is not the years in your life but the life in your years that counts.” She thinks how long are we here to live? A few years? And we continue to shrink that short life span by putting unnecessary restrictions on it sometimes for our own selves and many a times for others. It again rings in her ears:
Kaanton se kheench ke yeh aanchal, Tor ke bandhan baandhi paayal
Koi na roko dil ki uraan ko,
dil woh chalaa; ha ha haa haa haa haa
Aaj phir jeenay ki tamanna hai, Aaj phir marnay ka iraada hai

To deny a person a right to live her/his life to its full is unforgivable. Its hard to think how much a person’s soul is wounded when you do this to her/him. When one breaks constructed and unnecessary traditions and restrictions to live her/his life to its full, people stand in the way, throw stones, put hurdles in the way but one has to bull her/his way through it and once in a life we just want to do it our way for it will complete who we are. If we want our passions around us, sometimes we have to do it the hard way but we have to for our heart goes with it.
Apnay he bas mein nahin main, Dil hai kahin tau hun kahin main
Jaane kya paa ke meri zindagi ne,
Hans ker kaha; ha ha haa haa haa
Aaj phir jeenay ki tamanna hai, Aaj phir marnay ka iraada hai
When one comes out of that cocoon of oppression and barriers, one is overwhelmed to see her/his boundaries that stretch towards unlimited limits and she/he feels that the joy of achieving one’s personal freedom is the most wonderful thing in the world. Not only we long for this life of ours but the life once denied to us itself smiles back at us for it is this life which is waiting for us. You are just required to show courage to go and live it.
Main hun ghubaar ya tufaan hun, Koi bataaye main kahaan hun
Dar hai safar mein kahin kho na jaaun main
Rasta naya; aa..aa..aaa….
Aaj phir jeenay ki tamanna hai, Aaj phir marnay ka iraada hai
Sometimes there exists such a passion that one is oblivious of the fact what one is, where one is. In actuality one has dived deep into her/his inner space where she/he has a vitality, a force, a will to be ‘herself’/ ‘himself’. With rarely achieved freedom there comes fear too. Never experiencing such openness and vastness of horizon puts fear in the heart because people tell us about risks and create hurdles in our path for what we have managed to achieve they still cannot think of it. We have to give up any fear of failure and have to walk with our head held high. All of us know that life is hard but we need to understand that it smiles at us too. We want to open the window of opportunity to colourful, fulfilling, quality life. Its only that we get scared for we have never been trained to enjoy pleasure and embrace happiness. But the point is why people make someone think she/he may face a loss or difficulty after living for herself/himself. Why can’t they make them feel that a person gets everything in life after she/he goes with their wills. Such happiness and satisfaction it is in following the nobler passions of heart and beautiful thoughts of mind that after this if there is any hardship; its worth it.
Kal ke andheron se nikal ke, Dekha hai aankhein maltay maltay
Phool hi phool zindagi bahaar hai
Teh kar liya; aa…aa…aaa
Aaj phir jeenay ki tamanna hai, Aaj phir marnay ka iraada hai
One cannot wait passively for something to happen in her/his life. Its only after following our heart that we come to enjoy the light of our pure and sweetest passions. We leave behind the darkness of false fears and try to live just for once at least. It’s the overcoming of our fears instilled by innumerable forces around that make the life clear before our eyes and we realize “Life is Beautiful”. At that time we have to seize the moment for it will never tick back.
Looking at a boy who sips his last drop of tea she thinks one would never want to be dead while still alive, one would never like to put herself/himself in an endless misery which has no compensation. The YOU moment; the magnificent composition of you, your faith and the cosmic energies comes but once, when your heart, mind and soul are in harmony with each other. Grab the moment before it is lost. Once lost you are able to survive but “there remains so less of you afterwards”.
In struggle of responding to your moment, respect all those beautiful souls who light up your soul and make your heart smile. Love them if they have enriched your life and opened your heart in ways you would never have dreamt of for they are your greatest source of inspiration.
She was just thinking of all those souls when the bus blew the horn…
Song: Aaj phir jeenay ki
Movie: Guide
Language: Hindi
Year: 1965
Music Director: S.D. Burman
Singer: Lata Mangeshkar
Lyricist: Shailendra

Of Love, Peace, Nature and Grace

Snow-White-and-the-Seven-Dwarfs-snow-white-and-the-seven-dwarfs-16246381-600-417snow

Looking through the window she sees a girl outside. Soft and peaceful. She is playing in the wet mud beholding the morning sun. She then starts running around the track that hugged the shore of the lake…

Serene white life full of love is all she has imagined. Clear. She wants to remain in the cool splashes of pastels of nature’s manifestations. A person like her dives head first into the world of beauty and romance. The radiant glow is all she needs. She imagines of sweet-scented breeze and floral surroundings that scatter over her moods and things she does, the grace she tries to carry…

She always looks for something to love within the pages of her life like a person who is always in a mood to indulge but has never got a place to start. She wants to revel in the freshness of nature and love…

She knows best things come loaded with regiment of hardships so she always tries to glam it up to move forward with grace. She wants a drape of elegance on her. She wants to wear a grace from head to toe…

“Treat yourself with romance (Nature & Love) and life will be serene”, she waves back in a hurry…

Encounters

It’s pleasant today. It rained last night so weather is quite nice. Today buses have been parked straight and rush is relatively controlled (perhaps because advanced booking has arranged the flow of people to travel). It’s the busiest bus station in one of Pakistan’s largest cities. Hostess of one bus looks tired; she has come from Abbotabad and will move to Lahore after a stay of 15 minutes or so. She meets another host on her way to office and gives a usual courteous smile and together they enter the office. There are a lot of people today at morning time because of Eid holidays. People come and go. A young girl looks apprehensive. It seems she is travelling for the first time alone, she holds her bag tightly and looks around with a fear as if some bad man would appear and steal her bag or grab her at worst. A young boy with a shopping bag in his hands looks restless to find his bus. He has bought shoes from Sage; the shopping bag in his hand tells. His worn out jeans cannot make anyone decide whether it’s his style or he cannot afford new ones. A woman in uncomfortable stilettos tries to walk peacefully but the agony her face reflects is in contrast to the shine of her shoes. As you inch closer, you can see her long brittle nails and cracked heels (one is reminded of primitivity and man in caves). It is quite obvious that nowhere in her distorted cognition it rests that half of the pain in her life at the moment is due to heels she wear. A middle aged village woman in tea-pink intricately patterned print shalwar qameez and white malmal-dupatta gets down from a bus from Multan. She carries a small steel bucket of desi ghee or suji-halwa or maybe gurh-halwa. She looks headstrong woman from Punjab, she is alone and seems confident to travel but now she looks anxious as her eyes move around waiting for someone. She carries the small bucket tightly; her only possession. A chubby guy hurriedly pays the taxi driver and looks for his bus. He seems to be late. After checking two three buses, his movements slow down, he looks happy now as if he has hit an instant jackpot. Perhaps he feels relieved to know that he has got sometime. To celebrate this momentary pleasure he takes out a cigarette, lights it, makes puffs for being happy or maybe he is still tense and wants to release his tension of ‘ifs’. Surrounds himself in thick clouds of smoke and leans back at the wall staring at his destination bus. Another man stands still in camel coloured corduroy pants and gives occasional looks to people sitting on bench behind him. He has an old styled suitcase. The suitcase brings 80s tempo. He seems a bit old schooled with nice English hair-cut. He moves towards tuck shop and carefully glances at displayed items; he seems to be picky. He is happy to get hot coffee but now looks disturbed with a feeling of being observed. A father of four five children also enters the terminal, each child carries a pack of chips. The mother seems tired, perhaps she has gotten up quite early to prepare for the journey while husband and children had two three more hours to sleep. Behind them there is another family with two boys. The woman in abaya seems furious and calls her husband Aamir. “I cannot sit at such a dirty place”, she says and refuses to sit on the bench and continues complaining about the dirty place (probably she hasn’t seen our real bus stops and dhaabay). They seem to come from some Arab country. May be Dubai. Giving up she sits on the bench and one can smell the strong fragrance of her perfume as if she has poured the whole bottle on her. The man and sons seem quite peaceful unlike her as they don’t bother what she says. They are busy looking at a girl and a boy who argue with the bus host about non-availability of seats. May be they have been issued wrong tickets. The host tries to calm them down that they are trying to accommodate them. A sweeper comes to clean the floor. Passengers sitting by get angry due to dust his broom spreads. He says sorry to all but what he can do. It’s all wrappers, juice packs and used tissues on the ground by educated people who think they are civilized enough to travel by expensive bus service and are keeping up with refined social class. He is there to clean the dirt they have brought with them. He does it with a smile. As the weather is good, he does not mind. Most of the passengers prefer to sit outside as it’s nice out there. A newly-wed couple glide towards their bus with new suit cases. They are happy and are oblivion of dirt, dust and rush around. They look forward to their happy days together. A father in waistcoat scolds his five year old son who insists to buy snacks from the high-priced tuck shop while mother is busy looking at the dress of another woman who is busy texting someone. The announcement informs about the arrival and departure timings but the old loud speaker fails to make it clear so most of the people are hovering around their buses. Two young boys greet each other warmly and look surprised. They seem to know each other and meeting after long time. It seems a happy surprise. They walk towards the open area talking to each other. A young mother carries a baby in her lap who looks peacefully sleeping. Can’t decide if she/he is a baby girl or boy but is a real heartbreaker at the age of just few months. He now is waking up and the mother puts a Milk Pack in small feeder and feeds the newborn; another elderly woman with her seems tense about it. Perhaps she is thinking it’s not good for a baby to drink such thick and artificial milk as it may cause terrible constipation and cramps in stomach. But why would young mother care; they hate traditional approaches and nuskhay. Dissatisfied, the elderly woman turns her face to the other side. It’s time to leave. Everyone with their luggage moves towards bus. Kids have eaten all snacks and left the wrappers on the floor. Half lit cigarette lies on the floor burning. A girl moving towards bus stumbles upon an empty Milk Pack under her feet. While all move, sweeper comes again to clean the dirt that passengers have left behind…

She too gets up and takes the seat by the window.